Yes or No, Make a Decision
Furnishing a secondary home can be expensive, and I love nothing more than finding steals and deals! I spent a portion of my Saturday at a thrift store agonizing over whether or not I should purchase a mahogany kitchen table and five chairs. The price tag displayed $115.00, but today it was 50% off (yes, for the table and FIVE chairs). Within moments I began torturing myself and my friend who accompanied me on whether or not I should pass up this deal.
It Wasn’t Really About the Money
My trepidation wasn’t about parting with $57; the damn “People Pleaser” had taken over the present situation and had me thinking, “What will everyone else think of this piece?” As the people pleaser in me would have it, I snapped pictures and sent a video of the furniture to my husband and mother-in-law. I needed their approval; people-pleasing thrives off of others’ responses. I would be satisfied if they were happy and agreed about my find. They were of no help, kind enough to let me make the decision, and my husband stated he would be satisfied with whatever I chose. This is not the response a recovering people pleaser wants to hear.
One Step Forward
I’ve said it a thousand times I’m a “Recovering People Pleaser” Today was just another instance where my people pleaser attempted to take control of a situation. Notice I said, “attempted.” After mentally putting myself through the wringer, I concluded that the dining set was meant for me the minute I had laid eyes on it. I immediately knew how to restore it and transform it into a unique piece for our shore house. I didn’t require permission from anyone. My husband trusted my judgment, and I wasn’t robbing the bank monetarily. I was simply triggered by old behaviors. Feeling incredibly uncomfortable, I challenged my habits and bought the dining set. My heart pounded, my hands trembled slightly, and I second-guessed myself until I exited the store.
Much credit goes to my friend, who patiently stood by and kept her mouth closed. She did not encourage or deter me from moving forward with the purchase. I shivered in my car, excited and terrified after my shopping spree. Across from me, my silent partner in crime was also shaking, but it was a direct result of the frigid air that had yet to be taken over by the vehicles blasting heating system. Once we both appeared more comfortable, she grinned and was happy to share that my decision was exactly what she would have done. No, I hadn’t needed her approval, but it warmed my heart to hear, without asking, that she, too, would have spent $57.
Attaching the “sold” sticker to the tabletop was a step forward for this Recovering People Pleaser. It may seem like a small step to some, but it was incredibly HUGE for this woman!