The Dance of Self-Sabotage can be performed at any point in our lives. Whether you’re a child, teenager, or adult, at home, school, workplace, or at social events, the experience is open to anyone. The Dance of Self-Sabotage does not discriminate. This dance has a sneaky way of stunting personal growth. The ultimate consequence is the inability to acquire things that matter most to us.
What is Self-Sabotage? Per betterup.com, “Sabotage means deliberately damaging, blocking, or impairing something, so it doesn’t work as intended. Even though we rarely block ourselves deliberately from getting what we want, we still might do or say things to get in our own way. To others, it can even seem deliberate”.
At one time, I had the rhythm and steps to this solo act nailed down. I would have been a fantastic instructor. I could have taught others how to effortlessly perform the lovely little dance from hell. I love dancing, but this performance could have fabricated a better vibe. It did NOT stir tingling in the toes, motivate tapping in the feet or spur swinging of the hips.
Envision making every effort to dance in the rain (no umbrella or raincoat) and NOT get wet. Pretty impossible to achieve. Yet, try as you may, you discover your shoes become waterlogged. Articles of clothes become heavy, and the desire to move any part of the body is a chore. The dampness has caused fatigue, and the willingness to abandon the task is all-consuming. That is the ambiance The Dance of Self-Sabotage will create.
My Dance of Self-Sabotage
I could execute “The Dance of Self-Sabotage”” with my eyes closed. I had it choreographed perfectly. This dance prevented the dream of producing my children’s book for over twenty years. The steps incorporated into my personal dance:
~Slide to the right with “No child will like this.”
~Slide to the left with “No adult will buy this.”
~Shimmy back with, “The story isn’t perfect yet; I need to improve it.”
~Shimmy forward with, “No one has encouraged you to make this into a “real” book.”
~Rock it out with “Stop, you don’t have the time to create a good story, so just stop, stop now!”
Procrastination was the steady tempo that kept the dance smooth and unfaltering. Day after day, and year after year, “To Catch a Hug” remained locked away, waiting for me to step outside the composition I had allowed to control my choices.
Stepping Out of the Dance
The Dance of Self-Sabotage can only cease when we change the choreography. Like all routines that have been memorized, stepping outside this dance has challenges. But it is attainable! I modified my step sequence to appear something like this:
~ Cross-step hop with “Stop telling yourself you CAN’T do this.”
~Body roll with “Talk to a therapist, unearth the root of this self-sabotage.”
~Touch step with “Value yourself; you are worthy of making time and caring for yourself!”
~Grapevine with “What are the triggers? What is causing self-sabotaging to the surface?”
~Snap and Roll with “Make a plan.”
Once I stepped outside the original design, I witnessed The Dance of Self-Sabotage disappearing. My new performance gave way to eventually fulfilling my dream of publishing my children’s book, “To Catch A Hug.”
Could you give it a try? Today may lead into tomorrow. One day being told to dance in the rain without an umbrella and NOT get wet will be a task you happily accept.